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  • holycrapIhavecancer

Hello Out There!!

I’ve been planning on starting this blog for over a year.

Actually….that’s a lie. I had planned on starting a far different blog for over a year.

Two years ago I decided to take on something that I had been ignoring for a REALLY long time…my health. All of my justifications for ignoring my expanding girth and declining health were gone. Both my kids were safely ensconced in their respective colleges, so I didn’t have them to utilize as an excuse for never having the time. My husband has always been supportive of anything I want to do…even if it’s crazy. As long as I tell him I want to do it, he’s on board. But without me really admitting that, he, too, was a useful and convenient excuse. In finally admitting his support, he was no longer a valid excuse. Dammit! I am business partners with said wonderful husband, therefore other than times when I am specifically required for something particular I can pretty much set my own work schedule – one of the benefits of being self employed – I could come and go as I want or adjust my schedule to accommodate our work. As a result work, and really even time, were no longer viable reasons. Double dammit!

So with all excuses no longer available for me to hide my ever widening ass behind, I decided to pull up my big girl panties and do something about it.

And I did!!

I lost 45 lbs!!

I was in the best health and the best physical shape I have EVER been in.

I was off all my medications I had needed while I was still in my hefty body.

I had completely re-sculpted my body.

I was eating healthy and loving it!

Moreover, I knew there are many people out there just like me…busy with families, homes, work and just life in general…that had spent much of our adult life taking care of those around us and completely ignoring ourselves.

My intention was to write about the journey and, hopefully entertainingly share some of my experiences, set-backs, things that worked, others that didn’t; products that I love and had the best success with and the ones that I threw away hard earned cash on. I had a plan of honest sharing from the perspective of just an everyday person on what can sometimes be a pretty f*cking difficult journey.

Because I truly believed that if I could do it….ANYONE could do it.

Anyone could take back their health and feel better and look amazing. Anyone! Now I know there are plenty of professional trainers, skilled writers and enthusiastic motivators out there, but as much as I loved all these people…and I’ve bought ALL their books, programs and courses…I still always thought…“Yeah, but they aren’t me.” They have money and time and all the things I don’t have. So I thought maybe others could relate to my manic musings and it might connect with a few people and possibly motivate and inspire them to take on their health. Because face it – we only get one life so it might as well be badass!!

I had ideas of things I wanted to share.

I had recipes my family loved to eat and were easy for even me…no domestic goddess…to cook.

I created a page on Facebook.

I had investigated what I needed to do to start my project.

I was ready to go…Go…GO!

But a funny little thing happened on the way to the blog.

The last few months I had been working out I had this unmistakable feeling that something just wasn’t right. I felt out of sorts. I kept having a weird sensation of “let down” in one of my breasts – something that occurs when you are breastfeeding – and I was constantly aware of the lymph nodes under my left arm. Since I was a couple months overdue on my mammogram I decided to get it done first and then planned to go to my physician for a physical to find out what the hell was wrong with me. But I never got to my regular doctor.

I had the mammogram…it came back abnormal.

I got the enhanced mammogram….it came back abnormal.

I went for a biopsy – “don’t worry less than ten percent of these come back as cancer and if they do – it’s RARELY ever invasive cancer. Don’t worry!!

But on August 4, 2014 I got the call. Yup…the ”C” word. Me…the person that was in the best health I have ever been. ME – the person that people who hadn’t seen me in a while gushed over my transformation. YUP ME WITH CANCER! What the f*ck? SERIOUSLY???

So as I’ve been going through this process of groping and poking and prodding and testing and spending…the shock, the surprise, the being dazed and the confusion…I’ve realized there is SO MUCH that I didn’t know that I now do.

And I realized that perhaps my musings were better served sharing THIS experience.

So that’s what this blog will be about…this new adventure in Cancerville. My sometimes off-colored, hopefully humorous, observations and experiences. Experiences I never thought I would have and, even in this early stage, I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Nope – not even that one!

My hope is that perhaps my musings will help as I work toward healing myself and maybe touch others as well.

It’s quite possible that this blog won’t be for everyone; including people who might be easily offended by words like ass, shit, fuck or motherfucker. If these things offend you, avoid this blog as quite frankly so far cancer and much of the things surrounding it has been a motherfucker and I’m planning on calling it how I experience it.

In the mean time I would like to invite you on this journey with me and I hope you enjoy my reflections and follow along on this new adventure that my family and I are on.

Just remember – regardless of what comes your way – STAY STRONG AND BE BADASS!!

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